We all want love. The problem is, sometimes we want it so badly we settle for something that can masquerade as love: Emotional dependence.
As a result, we sometimes find ourselves in relationships that aren’t what we actually need.
Consider these nine questions below:
- Do you derive self-worth from your partner’s affection, approval, and attention?
- Do you get jealous when your partner spends time with someone other than yourself?
- Do you find yourself fearing your partner will leave you for someone else? Are you possessive when others are around your partner?
- Do you feel alone and abandoned when you aren’t with your partner?
- Do you feel anxious or panicked when not with your partner, or when they don’t call or text at an expected time?
- Do you care less about who your partner is and more about how they appear and behave in front of family and friends?
- Do you think you can change your partner into the partner you’ve always dreamed of having in your life?
- Do you find yourself focusing on how your partner treats you?
- Do you feel like you’d never be able to recover or move on if your partner passed away or otherwise left you?
Looking at those questions, did you find yourself answering yes?
If you answered yes to more than a few, keep in mind what love is – as opposed to emotional dependence.
Love shouldn’t ever be controlling, nor should your self-worth be tied to your partner.
Love isn’t needy. Instead, it’s a shared trust, bond, and affirming gift.
Loving someone means valuing them for who they are and their essential qualities.